Today in lesson-planning for one of my English classes I came across a very valid question. One that I am sure we have all heard asked, but perhaps we have not answered.
"If you could write a letter to 10 year old you, what would you say?"
I decided this assignment for my students should fist be self-assigned.
Dear Paul,
Before even introducing myself, I must share with you the most significant life-changing truth, one that you have yet to discover.
You are LOVED... so much more than your current understanding of life enables you to perceive. The Author of Life formed every detail of who you are. The One who set the Earth into motion hand-picked every trait, put you all together, and called you His fearfully and wonderfully made creation. You are God's canvas, His work of art!
Now, let me introduce myself, I am you, in 15 years. Yes, 25 year old you. I speak with the authority that 15 years in your shoes gives me, speaking of which, you should start wearing hipster boots instead of those hideous slip-on Walmart shoes...I kid, kinda.
Now back to the important stuff, the next 15 years could be best described by paraphrasing a lyric from Rascal Flatts, they will be a very "Broken road that leads" you straight to acknowledging who you truly are. So many years of crying through a mask, crippled with fear that someone may somehow get a glimpse at the real you. So much anxiety and careful precaution put into hiding, and so much frustration with your inability to hide from the mirror. The closer to my age you get, the more you realize that the mirror is the perspective that matters most. The one place where you cannot escape the true-view of who you are. Until you accept your raw reflection in the mirror, you will never be able to walk out the door with the life-changing joy that will make an impact on this world.
Which brings us back to your identity, and worth, remember how I said you are the artwork of the Author of Life? The thing is, he created your reality, the REAL you. The you that loves cherry-pie, the you that always wants to climb shit and do dumb stuff, and the you that is definitely not the super heterosexual guy you are trying so hard to be. However, you are desperately trying to create an alternate reality for yourself, you are trying to change your reality into something you think will be better, cooler, and "acceptable". Here is the truth, trying to change or hide who you are never leads to self-acceptance, and until you can accept yourself, you will never be able to grow. Additionally, the only things this effort will create is the you that at the age of 14, wanted to kill himself because despite desperate searching, could not find a reason to be alive. Then the you at the age of 18 who hated yourself for the fact that you were watching gay porn and liking it, and the you that would make a passionate yet empty promise to God everyday that you would never again allow yourself to be attracted to a guy.
Let me save you so much unnecessary heartache, there is NO BETTER you, than the one you see in the mirror. No better you, than the one God purposefully created. Every effort that tries to wage war against your reality, will just end in tears and hopelessness.
Now, I need you to do something. Go get a bar of soap, and write this on the bathroom mirror (if mom objects, get Sharon to write it on your face with a pen):
"In Christ I am:
- LOVED
- Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
- Complete
- Enough
- A World-Changer
- Full of Purpose
- Healed
- Brave
- The bee's knees"
Now, I want you to read those things everyday until you believe them.
Lasty, I want to share a couple of things you should never do:
• Don't you dare call yourself worthless when God calls you priceless.
• Stop making excuses that justify hiding from who you are.
• Don't be afraid to open your mind to new ideas and beliefs, truth is defended by reality, not bigotry.
• Don't be afraid to be wrong, learning is worth so much more than pride!
• Love yourself, it is the only way you can authentically love others!
Now, I have to run, because the 25 year old you has a job. (btw, avoid this job thing if at all possible)
I will end with this: You can now take a chill-pill because on the flip-side of 15 years, I truly do love you. And there lies the key to everything.
- Yours Truly (Truly)
This completes my homework, but I do want to ask you, maybe you also should self-assign this task. If you do, I would love to hear how it goes, if you would like to share. Furthermore, I realize this blog post may create some doubts, questions, or concerns, and I'm cool with that, so if you have any questions about my story or beliefs, I would love to hear them! Send me a message from my Contact page.

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